Authority to the Airgunning World

Where instigating argumentative debates and stepping on egos are the rule.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Are you airgun tuner material? This questionaire aims to find out that answer for you! Keep in mind becoming a self-proclaimed tuner is serious business, especially in the online world. People from all over hang onto the last word you say. In a few short weeks you are a demigod. No other profession in the world comes close - a gardner perhaps.
Ready? Ponder and answer this questions with the utmost conviction. I'm deadly serious. You are now entering a whole new dimension starting right now.

Appearence

To become a tuner, you have to look the part. How many teeth have you lost in the past five years?

A. Less than five
B. More than five
C. I lost count
D. What are teeth?

How often do you bath?

A. Every other day
B. Once a week
C. When the colone doesn't hide my scent anymore
D. When someone hoses me down

What is your waist size (measured in inches)?

A. 40-46
B. 46 - 52
C. 52-60
D. 60+

Professional skills

Do you know how to polish metal?

A. Yes
B. No

Do you know how to grind rough surfaces?

A. Yes
B. No

Are you capable of mixing lubricants to make your own secret sauce?

A. Yes
B. No
C. Maybe

Did you graduate from high school?

A. Yes
B. No
C. What's that?

Ailments (Check all that apply)

A. Hemmoroids
B. Cough then pee on yourself
C. Fart then poo in your pants
D. Dyslexia
E. High blood pressure

Dependencies

Do you current take (Check all that apply):

A. Viagra
B. Vitamin P (Prozac)
C. Zoloft
D. Lithium
E. Paxil

More to come...

2 Comments:

Blogger Steve in 'Dago said...

I have bookmarked your blog, based on th content of this post. Good work!
/Steve in 'Dago

11:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MAN! I just can't stop from laughing out loud at most of these questions. As I am interested in becoming a Pro-Tuner it seems I (1. must lose one or more teeth (2. Stop bathing more often than once a month (3. Wear adult Diapers (4.Forget my college edukashun (5.Buy a new chain saw (6.Start some sort of cult following (7.Be more insulting (8. and charge out the "whazoo" for Questionable Results. When can you send me my Diploma or Certificate or do I simply have to kiss you A** every day on the "Forum"? Anxiously awaiting your commands SIR!!

5:48 PM  

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